Sticky Is A Slut

Adults Only

  • 18th April
    2014
  • 18
I left work early and now I’ve made myself a cocktail and started running the bathwater. I’ve felt a little down lately. I’m going through a bit of heartache but eh, c’est la vie. I guess part of getting older is that you have to hurt a little in order to prevent worse consequences later. I nipped this in the bud prior to things getting too emotionally out of hand, thankfully. Maturityyyy!
Your heart, your body, your skin… I guess they all need taking care of. Anyway - didn’t mean to go down that road sorry about that change of subject! A few of you (well, like 5 really) have asked what I use for skin care and the answer is hemp oil. My girl at House of Aquarius is hooking it up for the “Easter” weekend if you’d like to get down on some. She makes products in her big, beautiful home with stuff she grows in her meticulously manicured garden. If you have scars from an acne ridden youth, this will clear them up. It did for me in about 6 weeks. Use the code “HAPPYEASTER” over at her shop now through Sunday [4-20-14] and get… ahem… $4.20 off your order of $20 or more. Hey, a good deal is a good. 
Okay, enough beauty. Talk to ya’ll in a bit when I’m tossed. 
cheers xo

I left work early and now I’ve made myself a cocktail and started running the bathwater. I’ve felt a little down lately. I’m going through a bit of heartache but eh, c’est la vie. I guess part of getting older is that you have to hurt a little in order to prevent worse consequences later. I nipped this in the bud prior to things getting too emotionally out of hand, thankfully. Maturityyyy!

Your heart, your body, your skin… I guess they all need taking care of. Anyway - didn’t mean to go down that road sorry about that change of subject! A few of you (well, like 5 really) have asked what I use for skin care and the answer is hemp oil. My girl at House of Aquarius is hooking it up for the “Easter” weekend if you’d like to get down on some. She makes products in her big, beautiful home with stuff she grows in her meticulously manicured garden. If you have scars from an acne ridden youth, this will clear them up. It did for me in about 6 weeks. Use the code “HAPPYEASTER” over at her shop now through Sunday [4-20-14] and get… ahem… $4.20 off your order of $20 or more. Hey, a good deal is a good. 

Okay, enough beauty. Talk to ya’ll in a bit when I’m tossed. 

cheers xo

  • 18th April
    2014
  • 18
Coming from the window of that hotel room were the sounds of summer on its way - laughter, children playing, splashes into the pool. Inside our room there was no wholesomeness, no good clean fun, no summer. Skin, bed sheets, empty bottles scattered about. He said we’d have an adventure. He said we’d lie by the beach, enjoy the sun, be in love. But all I got was a rushed dinner and a king-sized bed. To be screwed, over and over again, until it doesn’t feel good anymore is what makes a lover feel like a whore.

Coming from the window of that hotel room were the sounds of summer on its way - laughter, children playing, splashes into the pool. Inside our room there was no wholesomeness, no good clean fun, no summer. Skin, bed sheets, empty bottles scattered about. He said we’d have an adventure. He said we’d lie by the beach, enjoy the sun, be in love. But all I got was a rushed dinner and a king-sized bed. To be screwed, over and over again, until it doesn’t feel good anymore is what makes a lover feel like a whore.

  • 17th April
    2014
  • 17

Love

It stings the way a lemon does when it touches the bloody cuticle you’ve been biting at. When paired with something usually lovely, usually fresh and inviting like a citrus fruit, that open piece of flesh that used to be a hang nail or a bit of extra skin that you couldn’t leave alone turns something you enjoy into something that hurts. That sting, that sharp pain makes you say “Ah!” out loud to yourself because no one is around to hear you. Relief only comes when you suck on your finger, tasting the ironlike sap mixed with sourness and through the pain you find calm, finally, until you realize you’re not done cooking, you’re not done squeezing the juice out of the lemon and maybe I should have waited to suck the pain out until I knew I was done perpetuating it you think to yourself. Dammit. 

  • 16th April
    2014
  • 16
One of the most beautiful, well put together women I’ve ever seen in person cut me off in her McLaren the other day. As I listened to John Mayer while shoving a Funyun in my mouth I realized I’m not living my best life - this bitch is. 

One of the most beautiful, well put together women I’ve ever seen in person cut me off in her McLaren the other day. As I listened to John Mayer while shoving a Funyun in my mouth I realized I’m not living my best life - this bitch is. 

  • 11th April
    2014
  • 11
I want to be very alone and very not alone almost simultaneously. I want to be committed and free at the same time. Sometimes I wanna bake the cake, eat the cake, and not share the cake and sometimes I’ve made the cake for someone else and no, that’s ok, I don’t want a bite it’s all yours!
  • 11th April
    2014
  • 11

Are we, the truly proactive and busy, highly productive due to our nature, or as a result of our personal necessity? Do we force ourselves out of bed at sunrise because we cannot wait to start the day, because we yearn to begin our tasks with passion and vigor, because we love our lives, what fills them, and the people with whom we interact? Or do we peel ourselves from the safety of our warm bed sheets and the comfort of our loved ones because we know if we don’t, this bed, these walls, the very bedclothes on our backs could all be lost? Are we driven out of bed by love or by fear? 

How do I balance my desire for an aloha lifestyle with my tendency to live in a perpetual boiler room where I am, and I admit this reluctantly, most at ease? I have no clue but I’m trying to figure it out.

Preparing to quit my full-time job is proving an enormous task. Paying two months’ rent in a single month in order to pay off my lease, not purchasing clothes or makeup, avoiding new furnishings for my lovely new apartment, and the most challenging - not participating in social activities with friends has not been easy. And I have four more months of this parred-down version of myself to get through! However, the light at the end of this bare-bones tunnel is so bright, so fresh, so possible to reach that I’m hardly bothered by material sacrifices. What does bother me is not being able to be a boss.

I’m a front the bill, pick up the tab, take you out when you’ve done something great or buy the good bottle when you’ve had a bad day kinda friend and to not be able to do those things has me feeling rather unsophisticated and inept. This results in a strange form of social anxiety which stems from a lack of independence. If I can’t pay, I won’t play. Best to just stay home and watch everything in my Netflix queue, right? 

I started working at quite a young age. Being financially independent has always been my “thing”, even before my friends were doing it, even before we all started hitting 30 had no choice but to do it, even before I really needed to do it. I was the teen with my own credit card who could buy the concert tickets, book the hotel rooms and start the tabs and mommy and daddy had nothing to do with it. Life was good because I was in charge. Lately I’ve had to give that up. 

I’ve never struggled with being responsible enough to pay my bills on time, but I have struggled with my ability to put money away. I am 28 years old and I’ve somehow avoided ever having to save for anything significant for an extended period of time. Right now I’m saving a ton of money (to me) in order to not work so much for a few months which is a surprisingly challenging first. The money is there, but it’s not. I can’t touch it because it’s spoken for. How queer to live in relative destitution (I’m being dramatic) while the balance in my bank account increases. And what a dangerous temptation!

So how do I do it? I have no idea. But I am trying a few things to help me out. I “lost” my debit card and don’t plan to replace it. I work with cash now, and only keep my daily budgeted amount with me so I don’t impulse buy a $7 smoothie or just “pop in” to the store to maybe pick up a bottle of wine. I’ve been cooking (ugh). Driving less. None of this is fun and no, none of it feels rewarding or empowering. I just feel lame.

But! Come August and through the end of 2014, I’ll be able to cook breakfast every morning and eat it in my underwear. I’ll be able to work, study, write, and bullshit on the internet from any location I desire. I’ll be able to do some much-needed traveling outside the state of California. And best of all… I won’t feel the pangs of stress in my gut telling me to get out of bed and get to work because I just won’t fucking need to. I’ll get up at dawn because I love my life, what fills it, and the people with whom I choose to interact. Boom. 

  • 8th April
    2014
  • 08
  • 8th April
    2014
  • 08
  • 7th April
    2014
  • 07

Tell him he’s sexy. Explain to him that he defines what sexy means to you, personally. Kiss him then pull away and let your eyes gaze upon the place you just kissed and with your mouth slightly agape, feel the sexiness radiate from his skin until you have to kiss that spot again. Let him watch you lust for him. Let him listen to the slowing of your breath and the acceleration of your heartbeat. Whisper it. Shout it. Just say it, every day, in your own way. Eliminate doubt from your sex life and just tell him you want him. A good lover will see your honesty as a precious gift to be handled with care. There is nothing sexier than a woman in touch with what pleasures her. 

  • 7th April
    2014
  • 07

lazy bones went to the beach for the weekend but didn’t see any sun <3

  • 4th April
    2014
  • 04
  • 4th April
    2014
  • 04

Where’s the passion all of the sudden? Where’s the kindness so effortlessly thrown my direction that caused me to fall so deeply in love with you? “I love you I love you there’s only you, I love you…” and so on and so on and what? Wait, why are you speaking to me in that tone? Is it drugs? Is it me? Is this over?

I can’t wrap my head around your confusion. I can’t understand your refusal to work, work, work… that’s what we do! We work on things and work things out work ‘til we can’t any longer. We work to vacation, vacation then work and… oh, what? You have a headache? You’re emotionally exhausted? From what? Life? Can’t you see how silly you sound, how silly you are, how easy you have it? It’s me who makes the sacrifice and, for what? A cold shoulder and a bitter attitude?

Emotional exhaustion is for mourners and the chronically ill and the loved ones of those facing addition or financial ruin or a broken family or other, terrible things. One does not grow emotionally tired from carrying out simple responsibilities. You wanted to be here, love. You wanted me and said to me, so many times, “I don’t think you realize how much I understand that you work so hard! I appreciate you!” Now as we stand here with the weight of that declaration on our shoulders you seem fatigued. Baby, this is what you wanted.

You’re not awake? But you’re speaking right to me. Your posture is slumped and your back is tweaked and you seem… irritated? People speak so assuredly about goals and what they want but some, the weak, the distracted and the lazy, they forget that a goal, a passion, is a journey! It’s a trek through the muck and the dirt and some dreadful stormy weather for the sole purpose of making it to the other side. A goal is a destination and you can’t book a first-class ticket.

Look at you, so handsome. So wavering. So lost behind those once-loving eyes. My cards have always been on the table, dear. A difficult one to love am I but a dishonest woman I’ve never been. Men may say they enjoy the challenge of loving me or worse, being loved by me. But I’ve only met a few who make it out with limbs in tact. Be kind to me or you will feel the coldness of my wrath. Don’t play games unless you plan to win.

  • 3rd April
    2014
  • 03

There’s this girl I work with and she’s cool. Like, I’ll never be as inherently cool as she is. 

Yesterday, when she found out how little money I make, she told me to write down all of the things I want and need in order to reach my goals. “Then, give me the list. We’re gonna get it done.”

I went home and cried and cried. Do you know how many people I’ve made lists with, how many people I’ve told, “Write down what you need and I will help you make it happen,” and this… this was the first time anyone has ever done it for me. 

  • 2nd April
    2014
  • 02
Are you going to do another mimp set anytime soon?

Asked by: Anonymous

sometime this year!

  • 28th March
    2014
  • 28

I had dinner with my mom last night at Morton’s in Beverly Hills, not because we have money (it’s the end of the month, who isn’t broke right now?), but because we have connections and through straight hustling we eat there gratis.

The wait staff was being super chatty and hanging around a lot which is fine but I was trying to get some decent mom bonding time in so eventually I started to roll my eyes and make loud sighing sounds. My mom made a comment about how they must be bored, it was 6:30 and the restaurant hadn’t picked up for night, “everyone here is so nice, Nick!”. Damn I felt like and asshole. Everyone was being lovely and sweet and who the fuck am I to complain? Beggars can’t be choosers, ya know?

So I say to my mom that I when I get lonely I take myself out and I talk to whomever I can. An old, non-rapey looking dude with a belly? Who you rooting for buddy? Some tight lipped suit with a stick up his butt? Ok sir, tell me about the politics. And best of all, a kinda bored/kinda busy bartender with at least half a personality? Friend, you’ve got a customer for life. “And it doesn’t take much for me to get that lonely, mom. I go out alone pretty often.”

“But you like you’re alone time too, don’t you?” Yea, mom, that’s the fucking rub.

I want to be very alone and very not alone almost simultaneously. I want to be committed and free at the same time. Sometimes I wanna bake the cake, eat the cake, and not share the cake and sometimes I’ve made the cake for someone else and no, that’s ok, I don’t want a bite it’s all yours!

I can be a mean person. I can be rough and harsh and brutally honest. That’s in me and it’s ugly and I’m trying to change that. But to compensate for my difficult-at-times personality, I try to be a good person every single day. I do things for people. You’re in my life? Well shit, guess I’ll know you forever. I’m the most loyal of friends and I forgive easily. If you’re going to be a shithead some of the time, you’d better be ready to forgive the other shitheads in your life the rest of the time. People in glass houses, ya know?

This is bullshit word vomit but I’ve been busy and feeling things and working my ass off (4 more months til’ I quit my job!) and I just needed to remind myself that, unfortunately, it’s not all about me all the time. Ugh. Happy Friday!