Sticky Is A Slut

Adults Only

  • 5th June
    2014
  • 05
I had some meetings yesterday that went well. My goals are creeping closer to fruition. It happens slowly, gradually over time in that you pretend to be an adult, you play house, you decorate and buy cute candles and become the person you think you should be and then one day you wake up and it’s really you! You’re no longer playing at life, you’re living it. But I’m lonely. I’m lonely in that way where it’s not sad it’s not happy it’s not anything. I’m lonely in that yearning kind of way, that limbo stick way, that “I’m waiting for something good” kind of way. I’m lonely and I like it. I’m lonely but I don’t want to entertain people and I can’t go out and I don’t want to pick up the underwear on the floor or cook that awesome recipe or lay out a yoga mat but I’m not in a rut I just… I’m content. Though I still need to remind myself daily that this is the time for work and not play and that the loneliness I feel is simply adulthood manifesting in quiet nights alone in my apartment binge watching bad tv and working because I have a “work” computer now which, if you would have told me this would be the case 5 years ago I wouldn’t have believed you. This enjoying being broke and this change in my relationship with money is making me strong willed and patient and fucking excellent at planning. I’ve got all my ducks in a row so I’m sitting back, kicking my feet up and waiting for the race to start so please, can you blame me for needing to be alone in order to resist the temptation to blow my wad on shoes and vintage furniture and trips to sandy beaches? It’s beautiful torture to make a decision then stick with it. People are quick to pat me on the back but don’t they realize I’ve sacrificed spontaneity? Jesus - I even have to plan my wine! I bought five bottles on Friday to “last me the week” (haha) and I still have two (and a half) left! Who am I?

I had some meetings yesterday that went well. My goals are creeping closer to fruition. It happens slowly, gradually over time in that you pretend to be an adult, you play house, you decorate and buy cute candles and become the person you think you should be and then one day you wake up and it’s really you! You’re no longer playing at life, you’re living it. But I’m lonely. I’m lonely in that way where it’s not sad it’s not happy it’s not anything. I’m lonely in that yearning kind of way, that limbo stick way, that “I’m waiting for something good” kind of way. I’m lonely and I like it. I’m lonely but I don’t want to entertain people and I can’t go out and I don’t want to pick up the underwear on the floor or cook that awesome recipe or lay out a yoga mat but I’m not in a rut I just… I’m content. Though I still need to remind myself daily that this is the time for work and not play and that the loneliness I feel is simply adulthood manifesting in quiet nights alone in my apartment binge watching bad tv and working because I have a “work” computer now which, if you would have told me this would be the case 5 years ago I wouldn’t have believed you. This enjoying being broke and this change in my relationship with money is making me strong willed and patient and fucking excellent at planning. I’ve got all my ducks in a row so I’m sitting back, kicking my feet up and waiting for the race to start so please, can you blame me for needing to be alone in order to resist the temptation to blow my wad on shoes and vintage furniture and trips to sandy beaches? It’s beautiful torture to make a decision then stick with it. People are quick to pat me on the back but don’t they realize I’ve sacrificed spontaneity? Jesus - I even have to plan my wine! I bought five bottles on Friday to “last me the week” (haha) and I still have two (and a half) left! Who am I?

  1. stickyisaslut posted this